Alita: Battle Angel - 3/5

There are lots of great part in this film, but it fumbles the ending. The action is a spectacle, giving the audience the roller coaster ride they were promised in the trailers. Christoph Waltz is great in everything and his performance here is no exception; his chemistry with Rosa Salazar carries the emotional core of the film. It has plenty of sci-fi weirdness, and if that aspect isn’t working for you it’s likely going to feel like it just keeps dragging on and on. For everyone else, though, it’s a fun action sci-fi that mostly makes sense.

Closest Comparison: It’s equal parts Blade Runner and The Fifth Element, with a dash of Rollerball and Real Steel thrown into the mix.

Setting: Sci-fi
Plot: Post-Apocalyptic Teen Fiction
Tone: Action

Heist (2001) - 4/5

David Mamet movies all seem to have the same feel to them, and Heist is no exception. His dialogue may strike some viewers as stilted, but its careful construction is also one of the main draws of his films. The twisting, turning plot keeps the audience on its toes, and eagle-eyed viewers are rewarded with subtle callbacks and motivational explanations again and again. It’s a smart setup but even casual moviegoers will be able to enjoy the clever heists without some of the more nuanced aspects of the plot.

Closest comparison: Any other heist movie, by way of David Mamet.

Setting: Crime
Plot: Heist
Tone: Drama/Thriller

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part - 2/5

Parts of this movie are a lot of fun, but it destroys everything it built when it enters the final 30 minutes. Sure, the movie is colorful and funny, with catchy songs and memorable characters for the most part, but it throws out the story and consistent characters in favor of its preachy morality. Not only is it a dubious lesson in practice for children in the audience, but it doesn’t even make sense within the context of the film. Some clever and fun moments are not enough to save a bad overall idea.

Closest Comparison: It’s like The Lego Movie but with virtue signaling in place of meaningful story.

Setting: Fantasy
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Comedy

A Wrinkle in Time (2018) - 2/5

There’s nothing in this movie that’s particularly interesting. It has no reason to exist apart from the obvious cash grab. Chris Pine’s performance is the standout feature; it’s spectacular and almost makes the rest of the movie worth watching. Everyone else looks bored, and the extensive CGI effects don’t integrate well with the scenes they’re used in, which results in something that looks more like large-scale sci-fi channel effects than a Disney blockbuster. It’s bright and colorful, but that can’t make up for lack of acting, plot, and purpose.

Closest comparison: It’s a big budget Disney Channel movie.

Setting: Fantasy
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Family

Bird Box (Netflix) - 3/5

This movie is very intense and nerve-wracking, constantly reminding the audience of the peril the protagonists are in. The story is told in a brilliant way that simultaneously gives a sense of security for some characters and tension for others. I was afraid it was just going to be a rip-off of A Quiet Place, but it blazes its own path, having about as much in common with Dawn of the Dead as anything else. Outstanding performances all around and superb use of editing so the audience feels everything it does’t get to see on screen. But where A Quite Place has heart and love, Bird Box has harrowing tension, leaving the audience more exhausted than its plot and message warrant.

Editor’s Note: After rematching the film and doing some research, I found that many of the elements that seemed enigmatic and clever turned out to be simply occult symbolism with which I was unfamiliar. It’s still pretty well-made but this undercuts its impact significantly, as even moments of important character growth are neglected in favor of including occult ritual analogy.

Closest Comparison: It’s like a cross between A Quiet Place and The Happening.

Setting: Apocalyptic
Plot: Horror
Tone: Horror/Thriller

Polar (Netflix) - 1/5

It’s trying to be as cool as John Wick and as stylish as Kick Ass, but fails at both. There’s meaningless sex and boring action in colorful surroundings. The acting all around is either bland or bad, and it constantly pales in comparison to everything it’s ripping off.

Closest Comparison: A bland, boring attempt to recreate John Wick and Kick Ass

Setting: Action
Plot: Action
Tone: Stylish/Drama

Daredevil, Season 3 (Netflix) - 4/5

In their typical fashion this season of Daredevil plays coy with the new super villain’s name and simply let the events play out while the audience is left guessing his identity. Unfortunately they drag out some of the drama longer than needed and each revelation ends up getting stale by the time its revealed. Still, there are several well-crafted plot turns that kept me excited from one episode to the next, and this season has some of the best fight scenes in the whole Netflix Marvel line.

Closest Comparison: It’s on par with Daredevil, Season 1 (Netflix)

Setting: Crime
Plot: Superhero
Tone: Drama

The Big Lebowski - 3/5

Even though this quickly became a cult classic, it’s too weird and rambling to be truly great. Of course, there are some truly great moments and infinitely quotable dialogue, but then there are all the parts people forget about. It’s certainly worth a watch if you haven’t seen it, just for the cultural touchpoint, but it doesn’t even really have a point beyond ‘look at all the crazy stuff that’s happening’. This is what happens when ‘quirky’ goes too far and doesn’t have substance to back it up.

Closest Comparison: It’s like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by way of Fargo.

Setting: Modern
Plot: Thriller
Tone: Comedy

Secret Agent (1936) -3/5

Better than The 39 Steps, this movie at least has an interesting turn in the middle. Instead of plot contrivances it actually takes a meta-commentary on films with plot contrivances and bakes it into the plot. Peter Lorre is marvelous here, as always, and the cast has chemistry and is well-suited to their individual roles. Unfortunately the ending leaves quite a bit to be desired, opting for more of a ‘that’s all, folks’ wrap-up than a more satisfying ‘Hitchcockian’ twist. Still, it’s good film-making overall and a fun older movie.

Closest comparison: It’s a more interesting 39 Steps

Setting: WWI
Plot: Spy
Tone: Spy

The 39 Steps - 3/5

Alfred Hitchcock knows how to weave a story, but here it seems like he’s just going through the motions. It’s fine enough, with some nice cinematography and a few fun bits of witty banter, but it lacks the life and excitement of many of his other films. There are too many plot conveniences, too many things that happen just the right way, and the ending is a mildly clumsy reveal, not the clever discovery one comes to expect from the Master of Suspense. Still, you could do a whole lot worse when it comes to the spy genre, and on the whole it’s pretty entertaining.

Closest Comparison: It’s like The Third Man but less pretentious and 14 years earlier.

Setting: Modern (1930’s)
Plot: Spy Thriller
Tone: Spy Thriller

The Boondock Saints - 5/5

The message of this movie is direct and to the point, but its method of getting there twists and turns. The storytelling is some of the best I’ve seen, easily beating Pulp Fiction’s random chaos with the director Troy Duffy’s own carefully crafted character development. It’s crass and wild, but all with a laser-focused objective that it brings home with flying colors. It has a pan-genre soundtrack that will stick in your mind and excellent performances across the board, including Willem Dafoe as you’ve never seen him before (and hope to never see him again). Its combination of in-your-face style and attention to detail makes it easy to see why this became the cult classic that it is. Viewer discretion: extreme violence and language.

Closest Comparison: It’s like Scarface meets Pulp Fiction, but with a point.

Setting: Modern
Plot: Detective
Tone: Action

O Brother, Where Art Thou? - 5/5

Arguably the Coen Brothers’ best film, this movie exhibits all the characteristics of the signature Coen Brothers style: humor by repetition, beautiful cinematography, a host of famous and quirk actors, and an impeccable soundtrack. Without the direct reference to the Odyssey it would probably have been seen as having too many seeming non-sequiturs, but as it is it’s perfectly matched to the ‘source’ material. It’s a hilarious movie and constantly plays coy with the idea that there may be supernatural elements in play. Immensely quotable, immediately classic, and unforgettably quirky, this movie is certainly a timeless masterpiece.

Closest Comparison: It’s what would happen if There Will Be Blood were funny and based on the Odyssey.

Setting: The Dustbowl South
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Comedy

The Kid (1921) - 3/5

I was surprised to find that this is one of Charlie Chaplin’s most famous movies, because it has so little of his trademark comedy. There is comedy, of course, but this is one of his more grounded and almost melancholy movies. The young actor playing the kid is a standout and it’s always fun to see Charlie Chaplin on screen. It’s competently executed and all that, but it’s underwhelming compared to his other works like The Gold Rush, Modern Times, and the Great Dictator.

Closest comparison: It’s like all the other Charlie Chaplin movies, but where less happens.

Setting: ‘Modern’ 1920’s
Plot: Drama
Tone: Drama/Comedy

Masters of the Universe (1987) - 1/5

This movie is very very campy. Some may remember it fondly, but apart from nostalgia there’s really nothing good about it. The costuming is chintzy and for the most part doesn’t even look like the costumes in the 1983 TV show. The special effects are not only dated but aren’t even remotely as good as Krull from four years earlier. The plot is as thin as ‘they come to our world and have to get back’, and the characters are interchangeably bland. The most impressive costuming and effects are on Gwildor, the comic relief character, because his mouth moves in synch with his speech. If you’re going to watch an old, campy movie, just watch Krull instead.

Closest comparison: It’s like Super Mario Bros. (1993) with the special effects of the original Power Rangers TV show.

Setting: Fantasy meets Modern
Plot: Sci-fi
Tone: Campy action

Glass - 4/5

This movie is a direct sequel to director M. Night Shayamalan’s previous movie, Split, and continues the plot and the tone from that film. In his signature style it’s slow and expects its audience to be observant, although the ending is more of a surprise and less of a twist than many of his previous films. It keeps you guessing and doubting yourself the whole time, constantly trying to stay one step ahead of the film and knowing you’re not. Classic Shayamalan.

Closest Comparison: It’s in the vein of Split or Unbreakable.

Setting: Modern
Plot: Heist/Escape
Tone: Thriller

Treasure Planet - 4/5

One of the most overlooked and underrated Disney films, Treasure Planet was ahead of its time. The blend of a computer generated world with hand drawn characters is a neat style, though some have said they don’t enjoy it, and allows for sweeping shots and beautiful world creation. It’s a great adaptation of the source material, translated into a space steampunk world. And the Goo Goo Dolls soundtrack is the perfect veneer to finish it off.

Closest comparison: Titan A.E. via Disney

Setting: Sci-fi
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Family

Bodyguard (Netflix) - 4/5

At first I thought that some of the earlier episodes were too slow to pad the runtime, like many Netflix shows tend to be. But after the turning point about halfway through they started bringing back many points established earlier during the slower parts. Instead of using a political drama to make a political statement, they instead use it to set the stage for the intricate story they’re telling. Usually a movie has to invent shoddy reasons for a character to hide something from his companions, but here the show has time to clearly show who each character is wary of, to what extent, and why.

Closest comparison: It’s like a Tom Clancy movie with the action from one movie stretched out over six episodes.

Setting: Modern
Plot: Thriller
Tone: Drama

Gladiator - 5/5

This movie is a classic for good reason. At first glance it may seem like just your average action flick, but the deep philosophical threads that run through it make for a rich, thoughtful core to grapple with intellectually. The few shots of CG are used sparingly and at a distance, which has allowed it to age well over the years. The action scenes have become deservedly iconic, but Hans Zimmer’s score is legendary and far outshines all the other top-tier aspects of the movie.

Closest comparison: Braveheart with more philosophy, in Rome.

Setting: Historical
Tone: Drama
Plot: Action

Next Gen (Netflix) - 4/5

Not only is this movie a lot of fun, it has better story telling in the opening credits than most blockbuster movies these days have in their entire runtimes. The world-building is seamless and avoids being preachy, advocating for temperance where lesser films would have aimed at vilification. It’s funny, with precise timing and delivery that made me laugh a lot. The central conflict is interesting and unique, but also integrates with the characters’ history and motivations. The bully side plot was unfortunately not handled well, with its resolution being so simplistic and hand-waved that it is almost insulting to both bullies and their victims. Still, there are so many other things that are good about this movie that they overshadow its flaws.

Closest comparison: Its premise is similar to Big Hero 6, but it plays out more like I, Robot (2004)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) - 5/5

This is a movie that starts off fairly normal, gets weird and surreal in the middle, and then somehow manages to resolve in a surprisingly simple and straightforward ending. Jim Carrey is at his best and delivers an amazing, moving performance, and Kate Winslet has a lot of chemistry with him. Since many of the special effects were achieved in-camera and with precision editing, it still holds up after 14 years. Like all good sci-fi, it manages to be simultaneously high-concept and personally relatable. It’s a modern classic for good reason, and a must-see film fans.

Closest Comparison: It’s like Requiem for a Dream, but with hopeful realism in place of gritty despair.

Setting: Modern
Tone: Drama
Plot: Sci-fi