A Serious Man - 1/5

This is what happens when you take interesting, quirky characters and do nothing with them. It’s full of cringe comedy and nothing else, which just emphasizes the hopelessness of the characters’ lives. It’s too vicious to be funny, too dry to be interesting, and too boring to be memorable. Of course it’s competently acted and filmed, but if nothing happens what good is it?

Closest comparison: It’s the community drama of Edward Scissorhands and the family drama of My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding but with none of the life, color, alacrity, or interest.

Setting: Drama
Plot: Drama
Tone: Drama

Looper - 4/5

Even though there are some logical holes that can be poked in the time-travel explanation used in this movie, it maintains the rules it sets up in the beginning. Of course a few plot contrivances are needed in a story like this, but it’s so well told that they’re easy to forgive. Lots of fun action and a hauntingly impressive scene illustrating the time-travel rules in this story, there’s certainly a lot to like here. Good performances really sell the world Rian Johnson created without needing a lot of heavy-handed exposition. For a more mature, action-oriented take on a Back to the Future version of time travel, look no further.

Closest Comparison: It’s Brick (2005) by way of Back to the Future

Setting: Action
Plot: Sci-fi
Tone: Action

Polar (Netflix) - 1/5

It’s trying to be as cool as John Wick and as stylish as Kick Ass, but fails at both. There’s meaningless sex and boring action in colorful surroundings. The acting all around is either bland or bad, and it constantly pales in comparison to everything it’s ripping off.

Closest Comparison: A bland, boring attempt to recreate John Wick and Kick Ass

Setting: Action
Plot: Action
Tone: Stylish/Drama

The Big Lebowski - 3/5

Even though this quickly became a cult classic, it’s too weird and rambling to be truly great. Of course, there are some truly great moments and infinitely quotable dialogue, but then there are all the parts people forget about. It’s certainly worth a watch if you haven’t seen it, just for the cultural touchpoint, but it doesn’t even really have a point beyond ‘look at all the crazy stuff that’s happening’. This is what happens when ‘quirky’ goes too far and doesn’t have substance to back it up.

Closest Comparison: It’s like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by way of Fargo.

Setting: Modern
Plot: Thriller
Tone: Comedy

The Punisher (Netflix, 2017) - 4/5

It's ultraviolent and there's too much sex, but ultimately it's all used very powerfully to tell an intense but good story. A few great twists and one exceptional episode in particular make it rise above the lesser Marvel Netflix crossovers. I rank it just below Daredevil (Season 1) and just above Luke Cage. If you can stomach the violence, definitely give it a try.

The Shape of Water - 4/5

It's very good, but there's a lot of nudity. Not pointless and in fact used maturely, but I also think ultimately the movie would have been better without it. On the whole the movie's beautifully shot and the story is beautifully told. Of Guillermo del Torro's other works it's closest to Pan's Laybrinth in the sense that it's a fairy tale told in a harsh world. If you like his other works and you are prepared to look away a few times, this movie is great, for the unparalleled set design and costume design at least.

Blade Runner 2049 - 2/5

It has great cinematography, but way too much nudity. There's a lot of grit, but with no payoff. You know there's a problem with a movie when you can completely remove the main antagonist without changing the plot. There are several plot points brought up that made me ask, "This is interesting. How is this going to resolve?" The answer was invariably, "It won't".

John Wick: Chapter 2 - 3/5

They lost their way with the second one. It still has beautiful cinematography, some fun fight scenes, and memorable side characters. But the lack of specific motivation or creativity in resolving fairly straightforward conflicts makes it a definite drop in quality from the first one. I found the suit gimmicky and by the end they had really gotten John Wick's character wrong.

Logan - 5/5

First off: it's ultraviolent, it's sometimes depressing, there one 2-second "gentlemen, avert your eyes" blip, and there's lots of swearing. But it's the best movie I've seen in a while, and it's certainly the best X-men movie to date. And the little girl is awesome!
It's a very emotional and emotionally mature movie that takes its subject matter seriously and delivers on the payoff in heart-pounding, tear-jerking realism.