Legend (1985) - 3/5

This movie is campy and covered in glitter, but it’s also kind of great. I mean, with Ridley Scott, Tom Cruise, Tim Curry, and Mia Sara in an ‘80s fantasy how can you go wrong? The location designs and most of the costume designs are outstanding, though the camera work is too cagey and claustrophobic to showcase them in as epic a fashion as, say, the Lord of the Rings. It has a fairy tale story that will seem too childish for adults, and a dark side that may be too scary for younger children. Still, Tim Curry’s performance and the devil horns he wears truly live up to the movie’s name.

Closest comparison: It’s like Indiana Jones by way of The Storyteller (1987).

Setting: 80’s Fantasy
Plot: Fairy Tale
Tone: Adventure

Jean Claude Van Johnson - 4/5

This show is simultaneously a finely-honed parody of a genre and one of the best entries in that genre. It oscillates between over-the-top sarcasm and down-to-earth sincerity without the jarring disconnect that so many other attempts create. It has a hilarious premise and a bonkers execution, continually upping the ante of what the audience will believe while constantly poking fun at the more ridiculous elements of film making. It’s fairly consistent throughout, so if it doesn’t grab your attention off the bat then you can safely give this one a miss. But if even the premise sparks your interest, definitely check this one out.

Closest comparison: It’s like Mission: Impossible by way of Hail, Caesar!

Setting: Spy Thriller
Plot: 80’s Action
Tone: Action Comedy

Crawl (2019) - 3/5

This movie knows what it is and delivers all the wonderful jump scares and alligator thrashings promised in the trailer. The problem comes in the form of plot contrivance, with inconsistent mechanics and stakes depending on whether the main characters are in peril or not. Don’t get me wrong, the characters are endearing and the actors really sell the whole situation, but after a few key “why didn’t”s and “how come”s the fabric of the movie starts to come apart. Still, there are a lot of great moments and it is exciting and gutsy in all the ways it needed to be.

Closest comparison: It’s like Dante’s Peak by way of 47 Meters Down.

Setting: Disaster
Plot: Drama
Tone: Thriller

Stuber - 4/5

This movie is a delightful version of exactly what it wants to be. It’s funny, of course, but also manages to be better than average across the board. The cinematography is exceptional, at least in a few places, and even though the plot is exactly what we’ve come to expect from a basic action flick, the characters keep the audience invested. Honestly, it’s basically just Dave Bautista and Kumail Nanjiani doing exactly what’s expected from the trailer, and it’s a ton of fun.

Content warning: brief male nudity

Closest comparison: It’s Die Hard by way of Superbad.

Setting: Action
Plot: Buddy cop
Tone: Action Comedy

The Raid: Redemption - 4/5

This movie is a non-stop action thriller that achieved its level of fame by having a decent story and excellent fight choreography. It’s visceral and grimy in its realism, keeping most of the martial arts to what the actors can actually physically handle. Some of the fights have the one-at-a-time issue, but by setting most of the scenarios in hallways gives a practical logistical reason behind it and avoids breaking immersion. Instead, the viscerality deepens the immersion and keeps the tension right to the end.

Closest comparison: It’s like an Indonesian response to The Protector (2005).

Setting: Action
Plot: Action
Tone: Action Thriller

Stranger Things, Season 3 (Netflix) - 3/5

This season of Stranger Things is a strange case of inconsistency. The direction, editing, and acting are all phenomenal, and the plot is better constructed and more memorable than season 2. The first six episodes are exciting and binge-worthy, but after that it starts going downhill fast. The show constantly portrays bullying and bickering as an integral part of natural, healthy relationships which is offensively tone-deaf, and it only gets worse in the last two episodes. Most of the intriguing build-up gets squashed by shoe-horned character moments and one blindingly out-of-place experiment in bathos whiplash (using comedy to cut dramatic tension) that grinds on painfully for the duration of an entire song. This season had the makings of something great, but the last two episodes drop it from an almost 5/5 to a mid-tier 3/5.

Closest comparison: It’s like a conglomeration of ‘80s pop horror movies with modern production values.

Setting: ‘80s Horror
Plot: Mystery Thriller
Tone: Pop Horror

Saw (2004) - 4/5

This is the horror movie that defined its decade. Despite being a low budget endeavor James Wan is able to make the most of his resources and deliver a grimy, tensely horrifying experience due to an exceptional script. The way information is revealed throughout the movie is like watching a master class in pacing, constantly uncovering some interesting detail or plot development while maintaining the tension. Completely innocuous sequences become terrifying in this context and the great acting sells every minute of it. The gore is likely to turn off many viewers, but Shayamalan-esque ending cops the lot.

Content warning: gore

Closest comparison: It’s the movie that spawned the escape room craze.

Setting: Grimy Horror
Plot: Thriller Horror
Tone: Slasher Horror

Sunshine - 5/5

Not only is this movie gorgeous right out of the gate, it also has a top notch slow burn thriller pacing. The musical score is definitely pulling its weight here, bringing both the weight of grandeur and a beautiful framework for the story, all the while digging its spurs into the tension. This movie is solidly character-driven and never loses sight of the mission, but keeps practicality always in the forefront of the story. For solidly tense sci-fi that’s also fun to watch you can’t do much better than this.

Closest comparison: It’s like a cross between U-571, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and parts of The Fountain..

Setting: Sci-fi
Plot: Disaster
Tone: Thriller

Spider-Man: Far from Home - 3/5

Sure, there’s fun action and it’s great to see Mysterio on the big screen. Unfortunately, the editing is so choppy that the scenes feel like they’re jumping around. There’s not really anything new in the plot, but instead it’s just another Spider-Man story. I don’t know how they made such interesting content as boring as they did, but somehow they managed it. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just not up to the Marvel standard.

Closest comparison: It’s somewhere between Thor (2011) and The Incredible Hulk (2008).

Setting: Road Trip
Plot: Superhero
Tone: Standard Action

Predestination - 4/5

This is the weird sci-fi time travel movie to beat all others. Its intriguing beginning keeps the audience interested through the slow build-up, and once it takes off we’re all along for the ride. It doesn’t go the action route that Minority Report and Total Recall do, but the cerebral sci-fi pays off in a mind-bending short-story kind of way.

Closest comparison: It’s like Primer by way of Mr. Nobody (2009).

Setting: Time Travel
Plot: Weird Sci-Fi
Tone: Thriller

The Dead Don't Die - 3/5

This is a weird, slow movie that suffers from bland ad-lib dialogue. The first half is great: methodical setup, dry humor with measured delivery, and several interesting plot threads to investigate. Unfortunately, some of the plot threads go nowhere and the ones that do end not just strangely but often unsatisfactorily. Still, it kept me interested and chuckling for most of the runtime and although not all of the humor lands, much of it does for the zombie-movie-loving crowd.

Content warning: Gore

Closest comparison: This is a slow, strange homage to older B horror films like Night of the Living Dead and Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Setting: Zombies
Plot: Action Adventure
Tone: Dry Comedy

The Big Sick - 4/5

It’s difficult to make a comedy about tragic circumstances, like chronic illness, but this movie walks the line perfectly. Maybe because Kumail Nanjiani lived through it, the script is able to use its comedy to prevent the depressing narrative from taking over the tone and keeps up a smile through the tears. It never makes light of the subject matter, but makes subdued jokes alongside the documentarian day-in-the-life struggles. It’s definitely a stand-out entry among its peers, and if you have a close connection with chronic illness it’s certainly worth a watch.

Closest comparison: It’s like a non-sci-fi Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by way of The Fault In Our Stars.

Setting: Hospital Comedy
Plot: Documentary
Tone: Drama

Hudson Hawk - 3/5

This movie is an anomaly. For one thing, it’s a screwball comedy that ramps up the wacky antics after the hook, so many audiences are caught off guard and left with confused expectations. The structure and tone are more akin to a Mad Lib than a $65 mil cat burglar blockbuster but that seems to be entirely deliberate, as the movie is constantly self-aware and loving it. Its incessant charm carries it much further than expected, though its rough plot, off-the-wall tone, and sporadically crass language are the terminal drag-chute that kept it out of cult classic territory.

Closest comparison: It’s like Deadpool by way of National Treasure with Looney Toons logic

Setting: Heist
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Screwball Comedy

Toy Story 4 - 4/5

This movie is a solid addition to the franchise. Pixar is back in true form to deliver a fun, meaningful film to warm audience hearts around the world. It’s less tear-jerking than previous entries, but it still weaves the Pixar signature great, meaningful narrative that bucks storytelling standard. There are some small but significant character deviations for Buzz and Bo Peep, and not always in a good way. But apart from some mostly harmless missteps it is the sequel fans hoped they could make and feared they wouldn’t be able to pull off. Most people probably knew they were going to watch it before reading this, but if you were on the fence, definitely go see it.

Closest comparison: It’s like a fresh Toy Story 3 with some of the logistical problems of Finding Dory and a touch of sequelitis.

Setting: Family Fantasy
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Family Adventure

Men in Black: International - 3/5

It’s kind of dumb, but it’s a lot of fun. It follows in the steps of Ant-Man, where it keeps to its own rules for the main storyline but abandons them when it wants to make a joke. That being said the jokes land, for the most part, and it’s flashily cinematic in all the usual places. Instead of having a boring, predictable plot it changes up the formula by keeping the audience guessing which of the myriad tropes they’re going to fall into. This is the least weird and most stylish of the Men In Black franchise, and the second best one of the lot because of it.

Closest comparison: Thor and Valkyrie in a buddy cop movie with aliens.

Setting: Weird Sci-Fi
Plot: Buddy Cop
Tone: Comedy

Dead in a Week: Or Your Money Back - 4/5

This movie has a dark comedy undertone, by virtue of its main character unsuccessfully trying to commit suicide several times and resorting to attempting to outsource the job to an assassin. Despite that, though, it's quite charming and its dry, British humour left a smile on my face for most of the runtime. By juxtaposing a day-to-day routine with assassins and suicide it brings out the hilarity in the mundane, and has a much more positive outlook than I would have expected. There are a few plot contrivances used for comedy and don’t make too much of a difference to where everything ends up, and though it may lose a few viewers the dry, British humour wins out in the end.

Content warning: language

Closest comparison: It’s like The Bourne Identity by way of Keeping Up Appearances with a pinch of Fawlty Towers.

Setting: Thriller
Plot: Dark Comedy
Tone: Dry Comedy

The Punisher (1989) - 2/5

This movie is just a low budget, low quality action movie, even by ‘80s standards. The acting’s stilted, the plot’s a bore, and the action isn’t even fun or exciting for the most part. It may have some merit as the subject of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 viewing, but other than that it’s pretty lifeless.

Closest comparison: It’s halfway between Masters of the Universe (1987) and The Defenders (Netflix, 2017)

Setting: Crime
Plot: Vigilante
Tone: Action

The Devil Wears Prada - 5/5

This movie is simultaneously a gorgeous symphony of style and a scathing critique of the fashion world, but instead of being limited to one industry its searing witticisms are broadly applicable. The acting is top tier, and there is subtlety conveyed in every line that adds depth and complexity to the characters and plot. Despite its brightly colorful cinematography the world it presents is gray, with every character’s motivations a mix of selfish and altruistic, though the excellent script keeps things clear for the audience. The total effect is a fairly standard setup with exceptional execution every step of the way.

Closest comparison: It’s like Goodfellas in the trappings of Sex And The City.

Setting: Self-actualization
Plot: Fish out of water
Tone: Comedy Drama

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - 3/5

This movie makes the most of the starting premise, and though it often reverts to silliness it continually interposes actually funny jokes and meaningful moments. Instead of building up the whole movie to finally delivering on the title, instead they end the first act with the titular food-from-clouds motif and take the rest of the movie looking at the socioeconomic impact it would have on the locale. There’s a much smarter undercurrent then the facade would suggest, though that superficial layer is distractingly silly at times.

Closest comparison: It’s Phil Lord and Christopher Miller getting their feet under them before heading off to make The Lego Movie and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.

Setting: Sci-fi
Plot: Action Thriller
Tone: Screwball Comedy

The Wolfman (2010) - 4/5

This is easily one of the best gothic horror movies to come out in the last twenty years. Sir Anthony Hopkins’ presence would dominate the screen if it weren’t for the outstandingly high caliber performances from Benicio Del Toro and Emily Blunt to match. Dark cinematography is used to gorgeous effect not only to create a palpable atmosphere but also to cleverly mask some of the dodgier moments of CGI. Despite their best efforts, the scene at the end relies too heavily on technology that wasn’t quite there. Still, if you like the theme, the throwback to old monster movies, or even just the rich landscape of nineteenth century England populated by interesting characters, then you owe it to yourself to give this one a watch.

Content warning: gore

Closest comparison: It’s an update to an old classic that improves upon the original.

Setting: Drama/Horror
Plot: Horror
Tone: Suspense