The Hitman's Bodyguard - 2/5

This movie is a stale action escort quest with nothing interesting to offer. Reynolds is the only one playing against type, this time taking the brunt of the jokes he’s usually dishing out. The humor is all acerbic, irreverent mocking which quickly becomes tiresome, though if that’s your brand of humor you will like this movie more than I did. The action is standard low-grade fare, offering fun at the expense of believability.

Closest comparison: It’s like A Good Day to Die Hard by way of Mission: Impossible II.

Setting: Action
Plot: Road Trip
Tone: Comedy

Loki (Season 1, Disney+, 2021) - 3/5

This show is fun and interesting, but has several problems holding it back. The show poses a lot of good questions about the multiverse, but season 1 ends on a cliffhanger without resolving almost anything which is very annoying to say the least. The set design and costuming is gorgeous, but some of the new superpowers and worldbuilding rules are very problematic in their retroactive implications. Owen Wilson does an outstanding job, but the writers seemed to want to write for a post-Ragnarok Loki and sloppily shoehorn 6 years of character development into one scene. It also seems to think it’s ‘woke’, so all the female characters are stronger, smarter, and more competent than all of the men. Ironically, this backfires by making the two male leads by far the most interesting characters. This show could have been great, but in the end it has nowhere to go.

Closest comparison: It’s like Doctor Who by way of Brazil (1985).

Setting: Sci-Fi
Plot: Sci-Fi
Tone: Action Comedy

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - 2/5

This is the Donald Trump of movies; it immediately begins dismantling everything its predecessor did. At least a dozen of the biggest plot holes from the last movie get directly addressed, which is a noble attempt but ends up making for a choppy, uneven film. It’s crammed to the gills with about three movies worth of plot and the first third especially plays out almost like a montage. Visually it’s not as stunning as The Last Jedi and its plot meanders, only knowing where it doesn’t want to go. So there’s good news and bad news. The good news is it’s much better than Star Wars: The Last Jedi, the bad news is it’s still not very good.

Closest comparison: It’s like Dragonball Z by way of Indiana Jones.

Setting: Sci-Fi
Plot: Fantasy
Tone: Adventure

Hudson Hawk - 3/5

This movie is an anomaly. For one thing, it’s a screwball comedy that ramps up the wacky antics after the hook, so many audiences are caught off guard and left with confused expectations. The structure and tone are more akin to a Mad Lib than a $65 mil cat burglar blockbuster but that seems to be entirely deliberate, as the movie is constantly self-aware and loving it. Its incessant charm carries it much further than expected, though its rough plot, off-the-wall tone, and sporadically crass language are the terminal drag-chute that kept it out of cult classic territory.

Closest comparison: It’s like Deadpool by way of National Treasure with Looney Toons logic

Setting: Heist
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Screwball Comedy