The Dead Don't Die - 3/5

This is a weird, slow movie that suffers from bland ad-lib dialogue. The first half is great: methodical setup, dry humor with measured delivery, and several interesting plot threads to investigate. Unfortunately, some of the plot threads go nowhere and the ones that do end not just strangely but often unsatisfactorily. Still, it kept me interested and chuckling for most of the runtime and although not all of the humor lands, much of it does for the zombie-movie-loving crowd.

Content warning: Gore

Closest comparison: This is a slow, strange homage to older B horror films like Night of the Living Dead and Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Setting: Zombies
Plot: Action Adventure
Tone: Dry Comedy

The Wolfman (2010) - 4/5

This is easily one of the best gothic horror movies to come out in the last twenty years. Sir Anthony Hopkins’ presence would dominate the screen if it weren’t for the outstandingly high caliber performances from Benicio Del Toro and Emily Blunt to match. Dark cinematography is used to gorgeous effect not only to create a palpable atmosphere but also to cleverly mask some of the dodgier moments of CGI. Despite their best efforts, the scene at the end relies too heavily on technology that wasn’t quite there. Still, if you like the theme, the throwback to old monster movies, or even just the rich landscape of nineteenth century England populated by interesting characters, then you owe it to yourself to give this one a watch.

Content warning: gore

Closest comparison: It’s an update to an old classic that improves upon the original.

Setting: Drama/Horror
Plot: Horror
Tone: Suspense

Hellboy (2019) - 3/5

This movie’s main draw is its visual aesthetic, which is so Metal that it looks like it was taken directly from an Iron Maiden album cover. It overemphasizes the goriness wherever it can, but if that’s your thing you’ll probably like this movie more than I did. There are lots of fun locations and characters, with a few sequences that were exceptionally well done. Unfortunately, there are too many plotting problems, with unclear character motivations and stakes. Unless you’re really into the visual style, just rewatch Guillermo Del Toro’s 2004 classic again instead.

Content warning: language, gore, dead children, brief female nudity

Closest comparison: It’s like someone read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and thought, “This needs more demons, intestines, and severed limbs.”

Setting: Hidden World
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Horror/Splatter

Train to Busan - 4/5

The cardinal sin this movie commits is having characters frozen in fear by the zombies, standing still in shock instead of doing literally anything else, and it does this in most scenes. If you can get past that, though, everything else about this movie is great. Zombies on a train presents a myriad of interesting situations, and this movie goes through them one by one. It’s everything we’ve come to expect from a zombie movie done very well in an interesting location.

Closest Comparison: It’s 28 Days Later by way of Snowpiercer

Setting: Zombie Apocalypse
Plot: Feel-good Family Drama
Tone: Action

Velvet Buzzsaw (Netflix) - 3/5

This movie’s production values are very high, so if you like the subject matter more than I did you’ll probably love the film. It has great acting all around, with a funny script that delivers biting satire of the art industry. That coupled with the supernatural horror elements makes this an absolutely unique experience. Lots of weirdness coupled with intermittent gore and some sex will keep this from rising above cult classic status, like much of the John Carpenter backlog. Still, it’s much better than the majority of its peers and avoids the slowness that plagues many Netflix endeavors.

Closest Comparison: It’s as if David Lynch directed a John Carpenter movie.

Setting: Drama
Plot: Horror
Tone: Drama, then Horror

Zombieland - 4/5

This movie is pedal-to-the-metal funny from start to finish. Of course, it’s zombie-themed humor so if that turns your stomach then definitely skip this one. The action is fun, but it’s the interpersonal dialogue that is the real highlight of this movie. It was one of the first movies to heavily feature text digitally inserted into the space of the scene, and its comedic impact hasn’t been matched since. And it has a pitch-perfect mid-movie character turn that raises the whole movie to another level.

Closest Comparison: It’s the fun comedy version of movies like 28 Days Later and I Am Legend.

Setting: Post-Apocalyptic
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Comedy

Castlevania, Season 2 (Netflix) - 2/5

This season is very inconsistent. The first five episodes are extremely dull and tedious, explaining everyone’s personal stance on everything at an excruciating pace. Then episodes six and seven are the amazing, action-packed spectacle that the entire show should have been, with awesome fights, weapons, monsters, locations, character moments, and spectacle. Then episode eight rewrites all the characters as the least interesting, most annoying versions of themselves with no consistency or relevance to the rest of the show. If you liked the first season, just watch episodes six and seven, and spare yourself the frustration; you’re not missing anything.

Content warnings: language, gore

The Predator (2018) - 3/5

To begin with this could have been a 4/5. It has a solid setup and a few interesting turns initially, but it quickly turns into just another action movie. It has better effects than some of the other installments in this franchise but used to less effect; it’s gorier but not more interesting. It adds a little to the Predator mythos and it’s always fun to see military guys running around trying to fight a powerful alien. The humor is ultimately what carries it this high, with well-paced jokes to keep the audience interested. Unless you’re already a fan of the other movies there’s no reason to watch this over any number of other summer popcorn action flicks.

Full Video Discussion

John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) - 4/5

It's a classic for the horror genre, and the creature effects clearly demonstrate why it's still relevant 36 years later. Though the practical effects are definitely antiquated, the editing very cleverly conceals an impressive amount of what could otherwise have been flaws. This movie would have done better to provide enough information that The Thing could be traced upon repeat viewings, and the ending is anticlimactic. These do not detract from the flim as much as they are missed opportunities. Sill, I would be excited to watch it again so I have to give it the 4/5.

The Cloverfield Paradox (Netflix) - 3/5

This is a fun sci-fi disaster movie and wisely moves fast enough to keep the audience questions to a minimum. By avoiding specifics the plot is able to adopt a 'here's what's happening, just go with it' attitude that works well enough. Lots of fun sci-fi ideas, most of which have been done before. Like many disaster movies it suffers from character contrivances that put themselves in more danger than necessary, but if that doesn't bother you then you may really enjoy this one.

Sicario - 4/5

Denis Villeneuve (the director) has a tendency to just let his movies trail off, which I don't particularly appreciate but which works better in this film than in his others. The acting is precise, the cinematography as always is beautiful, and the tense traffic jam scene is fantastic. While the story is engaging I find myself wanting more of a take-away than this film provides, especially with the themes it deals with. Some of the characters' motifcations were more said than acted, which I would have liked to have seen done better. All in all, though, I understand why this was so well received initially, and I recommend it to people who like modern police thrillers (and can handle seeing some cut-up bodies).

IT (2017) - 5/5

This movie is terrifying. If you don't like horror movies do not go see it. However, the film making on display is absolutely outstanding. Cinematography, writing, editing, music, acting, everything is top notch. There is a lot of swearing (especially from the kids), and some kids get killed so, again, this film is not for everyone. But for what it's trying to do it does brilliantly.

Kong: Skull Island - 3/5

It was a pretty fun action movie, but quite a few of the motivations didn't make a lot of sense and if you know a decent amount about guns then there are several plot type things that may bug you. Several of the scenarios seem motivated only by trying to set up gratuitous cinematography, but the result is gorgeous. If you want a beautiful movie with giant monsters fighting each other and tiny people getting sqashed, you could do a whole lot worse than this.