Down Periscope - 3/5

This movie is a silly comedy around a sincere narrative. It’s a pretty typical ‘90s goofball comedy, for better and for worse. The story, though is played fairly straight as a military take on an underdog tale, complete with scrappy crew, rustbucket equipment, and a crew that is inevitably greater than the sum of its parts. If that sounds cheesy then steer clear of this one, but it’s a solid entry in the genre.

Closest comparison: It’s like Cool Runnings by way of RocketMan (1997).

Setting: War
Plot: Underdog
Tone: Comedy

Wuthering Heights (1992) - 3/5

This movie is a tragedy about the cost of bitterness and resentment. I’m rarely in the mood for a bleak morality tale, but those who need the lesson would do well to pay close attention. The novel is vividly realized here though it sometimes abruptly changes tones, apparently in an attempt to include more content from the book.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Place Beyond the Pines by way of Gone With the Wind.

Setting: Gothic Horror
Plot: Tragedy
Tone: Drama

The Good Dinosaur - 2/5

This movie is very confused. It’s too dour and gritty to be a kids movie, and too whimsical and frivolous for adults. The tone is too lighthearted in some places where it needs to be serious, and the resolution is underwhelming given the scope of the journey. And to make things worse, in an attempt to make the subject matter kid-friendly the dinosaurs ‘drive off’ attackers instead of tearing them to pieces, which actually causes plot holes later on. It’s a mess.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Searchers by way of Rango (2011).

Setting: Western
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Tragedy

Batman: Gotham by Gaslight - 2/5

The main problem with this movie is that none of the characters act like themselves. The overall story is mostly fine, but when all very popular characters behave in random or even bizarre ways it makes the twists that rely on previous knowledge of the characters pointless. The aesthetic is pretty cool, but the movie doesn’t make the most of it.

Closest comparison: It’s like Bad Blood by way of Hush.

Setting: Noir
Plot: Serial Killer Mystery
Tone: Super Hero

Black Moon Rising - 2/5

This movie is a misguided attempt at a cool action thriller. It relies moderately on its sense of style, which is distinctly outdated, and some of the brief, darker elements of the plot don’t do the lighthearted tone any favors. Both Tommy Lee Jones and Linda Hamilton are unfortunately miscast here. While both are great in their own respective rights, neither has the raw charisma to carry the plodding narrative despite their best efforts.

Content warning: brief female nudity

Closest comparison: It’s like Enemy of the State by way of Blind Fury.

Setting: Espionage
Plot: Heist
Tone: Action

Guys and Dolls - 3/5

This is a classic musical with a fun style that holds up years later. It’s starting number and some parts later on are surprisingly frenetic for the era it was written, and it comes off (like Gilbert and Sullivan) as being more fun to perform than to watch. That being said, its storyline is as constructed and outlandish as any musical, which will delight musical show enthusiasts but will only serve to drive skeptics of the genre further away with its garish pomposity. Don’t listen to those fuddy-duddies, this is a fun movie.

Closest comparison: It’s like Ocean’s Eleven (1960) by way of HMS Pinafore.

Setting: Crime
Plot: RomCom
Tone: Musical Comedy

Lionheart (1990) - 3/5

This is a pretty standard American martial arts movie from the ‘90s. It has the typical lackluster, choppy Van Damme fight scenes, but a more palatable plot than many of his other films. Van Damme also gives one of the most heartfelt performances of his acting career opposite an 8 year old Ashley Johnson, though that’s a low bar to clear.

Content warning: language

Closest comparison: It’s like Bloodsport by way of White Men Can’t Jump.

Setting: Action
Plot: Martial Arts
Tone: Action

Last Night in Soho - 5/5

This is a horror movie about the casting couch and bloody murders. If those themes make you think twice this is not a movie for you. But if you’re going to make a movie about this subject matter, this is the best there is. It’s intense and gut-wrenching when it needs to be, and only gives the audience laughs and endearing moments to use against them later. Wright uses Hitchcockian suspense to move from thriller to horror by being more brutal than Hitchcock ever was.

Content warning: coerced prostitution, bloody murder

Closest comparison: This movie is at the intersection of Sweeney Toddy, Neon Demon, and Baby Driver.

Setting: RomCom
Plot: Ghost Story
Tone: Horror

Dirty Work (1998) - 2/5

This movie is a pretty standard slacker comedy with Norm Macdonald humor through and through. The comedy is crude, college-style humor which will likely tell you what sort of mileage you’ll get with this movie. It’s main deviation from the formula is a rape joke that lasts a whole scene, which substantially lowers the overall light-hearted tone of the movie.

Closest comparison: It’s like Men at Work by way of Billy Madison.

Setting: Slacker
Plot: Motivational
Tone: Comedy

The Town - 4/5

This movie is a modern heist classic, focusing more on the camaraderie of the lowlife thieves than on the sleuthing of the detectives tracking them down or even the thrill and mechanics of the heists themselves. It’s fun to watch the four main leads fully immersed in their characters and bouncing dialogue off each other. In that there’s a playfulness to the drama that doesn’t sacrifice the impact of the story to engage the audience.

Content warning: brief female nudity

Closest comparison: It’s like Four Brothers by way of American Heist.

Setting: Crime
Plot: Heist
Tone: Lowlifes

Solaris (2002) - 3/5

This movie is a pretty faithful remake of the original, complete with pensive pacing and inherent ambiguities in the plot and its resolution. It’s cerebral sci-fi that doesn’t have as much to say as it seems to think it does, using an interesting concept to propel a somewhat less interesting story.

Closest comparison: It’s like Ad Astra by way of Melancholia (2011).

Setting: Grounded Sci-Fi
Plot: Mind-Bending Sci-Fi
Tone: Dramatic Sci-Fi

Gangster Squad - 3/5

This movie has a slick aesthetic and a stock plot. The sleek visual style is definitely the draw here, but the story is good enough to keep the audience’s attention through to the end.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Untouchables by way of La La Land, without the singing.

Setting: Crime
Plot: Action
Tone: Adventure

The Hyperions - 3/5

This movie is a quirky indie super hero film that comes through with a lot of heart in the end. It’s consistently chuckle-funny, never reaching the hilarity to which it seems to aspire. It does a good job working around its tiny budget, though some of the seams show in the finished product. There’s a heavy layer of style that masks many budget restraints, and how that style strikes you will largely determine your mileage with this film.

Closest comparison: It’s like Umbrella Academy directed by Wes Anderson.

Setting: Super Hero
Plot: Family Drama
Tone: Indie Comedy

Terror on the Prairie - 3/5

This movie is sufficiently terrifying, despite a few isolated moments of bad acting. The story does not make use of Gina Carano’s fighting ability, but that’s part of the point of the film and it allows her acting to shine. This is her best acting in a role to date, but the real showstealer is Nick Searcy who is riveting as the main villain. However, the pacing is rough and the stakes keep getting shifted in ways that make it a bit difficult to keep up with. And if it bothers you in a film when characters can’t hit a target that’s right in front of them then don’t even try to watch this one, as that constitutes the bulk of the runtime.

Content warning: scalping, attempted rape

Closest comparison: It’s like Once Upon A Time In The West crossed with Meek’s Cutoff.

Setting: Western
Plot: Home Invasion
Tone: Thriller

Turner & Hooch (1989) - 3/5

This movie derives its comedy from a dog destroying everything much to the chagrin of a fastidious man. If that sounds funny, this movie is for you. The murder investigation and romantic subplots are barely window dressing in comparison to the ‘destructive dog’ narrative. That being said it’s very well done and all that, just be aware your mileage may vary wildly.

Closest comparison: It’s like Lethal Weapon by way of Beethoven.

Setting: Drama
Plot: Detective
Tone: RomCom

Notorious (1946) - 3/5

This movie is a typical Hitchcockian thriller mixed with an era romantic comedy. Unfortunately, the romantic parts of the plot are fundamentally at odds with the thriller parts, and the tone ends up trying to be endearing where the plot necessitates tension. The central ‘cellar key’ scene is fantastic and if the entire film was like that it would easily be at least a 4/5 film, but it ultimately can’t overcome its own contradictions.

Closest comparison: It’s like Roman Holiday (1953) by way of Secret Agent (1936).

Setting: Espionage
Plot: Thriller
Tone: RomCom

Dick Tracy (1990) - 1/5

This movie has an amazing style somewhere between Sin City and Edward Scissorhands, but it’s plot and execution is so wildly ill-advised that it’s surprising it got made. It serves as a warning to anyone attempting to make a film that purports to be for children in its intellectual property, style, and tone, but insists on including mistreatment and exploitation of women in a gritty gangster plot.

Content warning: female nudity

Closest comparison: It’s like The Maltese Falcon by way of Speed Racer (2008).

Setting: Noir
Plot: Detective
Tone: Adventure

Miracle (2004) - 3/5

This movie is a by-the-numbers sports movie. The performances are really quite good and it tells the historically-centered story aptly, but it doesn’t bring anything more than that. It’s very engaging while you’re watching it, but steadily fades once the show’s over.

Closest comparison: It’s like Remember the Titans by way of Moneyball.

Setting: Sports
Plot: Sports
Tone: Sports

The Ninth Configuration - 4/5

This movie is a philosophical drama that never achieved well-known cult status, but is good enough to warrant it. It’s a cerebral exploration of the nature of mental illness and personal sacrifice, being thought-provoking without falling into the open-endedness trap that so many of its peers relish. Its main flaw is esotericism, not ambiguity.

Closest comparison: It’s like M*A*S*H by way of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Setting: Psychiatric
Plot: Drama
Tone: Philosophy

Wolf (1994) - 3/5

This is a good modern take on the werewolf formula, exchanging manors on the moor for business suits in the city. The special effects are mostly confined to the end and the sexuality is strong by ‘90s standards by tame for today. It’s more of a character piece about a man becoming assertive in a business environment than it is about classic monster tropes, which keeps it unique and interesting. And with a very reasonable two hour runtime it doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Closest comparison: It’s like Wolfman (2010) by way of Wall Street (1987).

Setting: Drama
Plot: Horror
Tone: Corporate Thriller