The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) - 3/5

This movie is a by-the-numbers spy film that is reminiscent of both Mission: Impossible and James Bond. It unfortunately doesn’t utilize any of the dark antics or snappy editing that the director Guy Richie is known for. The premise has a lot of promise, but the constant bickering among the central three characters drags the film down considerably. Still, it has excellent production values and a capable enough plot to carry it through. Also, Henry Cavill’s accent goes in and out, for what it’s worth.

Content warning: brief female nudity

Closest comparison: It’s like Where Eagles Dare by way of Skyfall.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Espionage
Tone: Action

Death on the Nile (2022) - 2/5

This movie is a mostly straightforward adaptation of the Agatha Christie murder mystery, with a few notable facets. Firstly, it has an order of magnitude better production value than the BBC Poirot series, although Kenneth Branagh pales in comparison to David Suchet. Secondly, the film injects an absurd amount of over-the-top sexuality in a few places, as well as a heavy application of obnoxious, senseless woke-isms across the side characters like sprinkling arsenic on tiramisu.

Closest comparison: It’s like Murder on the Orient Express (2017) with a bunch of nonsense shoehorned in.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Mystery
Tone: Mystery

The Social Network - 4/5

This is a fairly straightforward telling of the Facebook founder’s story, that is apparently vaguely accurate. David Fincher is a master class unto himself on how to make boring things interesting.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Founder by way of American Animals.

Setting: Coming of Age
Plot: Docudrama
Tone: Drama

Free Fire - 2/5

This move is just a long shootout, with enough setup to know the characters and what’s going on. It keeps you guessing initially about when the fight will start, and for the most part the action is pretty cool. It sticks to a more gritty realism tone than many other movies of this genre, but that only makes the more unbelievable aspects jarring when they come up. And instead of weaving the narrative into a cohesive surprise turn or diatribe against gun running, it basically just ends.

Closest comparison: It’s like the shootouts from The Salton Sea without the context of story or a satisfying ending.

Setting: Crime
Plot: Action
Tone: Action