Big Hero 6 - 4/5

This is more than a good family super hero movie. It stands on its own with a good story, excellent pacing, and a lot of heart. It’s earnestly funny and doesn’t subvert its established rules for the sake of a quick joke, a mistake common to far too many of its peers. The superpowers are interesting and creatively implemented, the villain is unique, memorable, and flushed out. Sure, it’s childish in a few places and whenever someone says, “Woman up,” it’s cringe-inducing, but those nitpicks aren’t enough to bring the rest of the movie down with them.

Closest comparison: It’s like Iron Man by way of Frozen.

Setting: Super Hero
Plot: Super Hero
Tone: Family Adventure

The Rescuers Down Under (1990) - 3/5

This fun family adventure follow-up to its dour masterpiece predecessor leaves something to be desired. It’s a great romp and if taken on its own merits is a pretty solid Disney fare, but when compared to its earlier installment has as much depth as a kiddie pool. There are several creative plot turns that keep it interesting for more seasoned viewers and some great cinematography to keep the whole family entertained. It throws in several ‘funny’ scenes apparently for younger viewers that stumble the pacing and introduce a mean humor that runs at odds to the emotional core of the story.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Rescuers by way of Treasure Planet.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Rescue
Tone: Family

The Rescuers (1977) - 5/5

This is an understated contemplation on the nature of faith in the face of hopelessness. It boasts an unrelentingly bleak atmosphere that it douses with equally unrelenting heart. In true Don Bluth fashion the silliness is limited to a flavor of villain caricature and avoids affecting the plot. Instead, it allows the story themes to play out with a lot of depth without becoming too intense for more sensitive viewers. It’s masterfully executed and achieves its conservatively ambitious goal with real staying power for those not driven off by the family-friendly aesthetic.

Closest comparison: It’s like The Pursuit of Happyness by way of The Great Mouse Detective.

Setting: Crime
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Film Noir

The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes - 2/5

This little gem is mostly fine, but its dated aesthetics and excess silliness at the end make it drop just shy of ‘fine’. It’s an interesting look at a young Kurt Russell, but on the whole the acting, characters, and overall feel is vapid live action DIsney family fare. It’s not as funny as That Darn Cat or as heartfelt as Darby O’Gill and the Little People, which has only added to its justifiable obscurity over the decades.

Closest comparison: It’s like Phenomenon (1996) by way of Not Quite Human (1987).

Setting: College Comedy
Plot: Superhero
Tone: Family Comedy

Dumbo (2019) - 2/5

This movie has some fatal character problems. While Colin Farrell is excellent and Danny DeVito steals every scene he’s in, the young girl (Nico Parker) shows the personality of a plank of wood. The villain only does villainous acts when the plot calls for it, and it’s never consistent for his character. Telling the most powerful person in the movie who has always treated his employees well until today that he has never had any power is weak and trite, and is emblematic of the scene-centric approach to this film that ignores character development. Of course the CGI elephant is good and the costuming is great, but movies live and die on plot and character.

Closest comparison: Just another in a line of poorly-conceived Disney live-action remakes.

Setting: Musical
Plot: Super hero
Tone: Drama

Beauty and the Beast (2017) - 2/5

The CGI in this movie is solidy in the uncanny valley, from the Beast to Mrs. Pots. The songs they added don't feel like the original songs and sound like they could have come from Andrew Lloyd Webber's cutting room floor. Most lines they kept from the orignal have intentionally been spoken differently, I guess in an attempt to make it new, but now they sound less like real people saying real things than their cartoon counterparts did. All of that would have put it at a 3/5 for me, but there's a ton of politically motivated material in this movie. It's basically Liberal Virtue Signaling: The Movie, and it hits on enough topics that it's distracting. Every person in the movie we're supposed to like is either gay or a feminist or a cross-dresser or black or in a multiracial couple, etc. Every person who is bad is white, uses guns, doesn't read books, etc. On the whole, the movie is just about as bad as the unwatchably terrible Jungle Book (2016) live action remake, and it's just a big waste of time.