Alan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold - 1/5

This is a high concept, low budget campfest that doesn’t have the wherewithal to pull it off. The plot is too weak to be interesting, the sets are almost as bad as the costumes. Even the lead actors don’t have the requisite on-screen chemistry to make it enjoyable. On paper, this movie is a bargain bin Indiana Jones, but in practice it’s a boring pablum that doesn’t even have the decency to be so bad that it’s funny.

Closest comparison: It’s like Indiana Jones made by The Asylum.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Adventure

Sphere - 2/5

This movie is a strange, confusing attempt at multiple genres, below average for Michael Crichton. It’s a film about scientists where the main interpersonal conflict boils down to “he said she said” drama, that all doesn’t end up mattering in the end. A recurring theme is characters getting into a deadly situation and shouting “Help me! Do something!” over and over while everyone else sits around not doing anything. Bizarrely enough, this happens just as often the other way around, and the characters detach the audience from the narrative in a very damaging way. Although it has an interesting sci-fi concept it overstays its welcome and fails to flush out its runtime with an interesting, and by the end even a workable, plot.

Closest comparison: It’s like a worse version of Underwater by way of a much tamer Event Horizon.

Setting: Deep Sea Adventure
Plot: Sci-Fi Thriller
Tone: Disaster