Alan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold - 1/5

This is a high concept, low budget campfest that doesn’t have the wherewithal to pull it off. The plot is too weak to be interesting, the sets are almost as bad as the costumes. Even the lead actors don’t have the requisite on-screen chemistry to make it enjoyable. On paper, this movie is a bargain bin Indiana Jones, but in practice it’s a boring pablum that doesn’t even have the decency to be so bad that it’s funny.

Closest comparison: It’s like Indiana Jones made by The Asylum.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Adventure

The Hunt for Red October - 5/5

This is far and away the best submarine movie, and it’s not hard to see why. It’s an exciting political thriller that never gets lost in a nerve-racking haze of ambiguity but instead keeps the audience constantly informed of the stakes while somehow maintaining the perfect level of tension. The music is epic and Soviet, equal parts symphonic and sinister. The characters are understated, and the actors are all giving some of the best performances of their careers. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a bar-none must-watch.

Closest Comparison: It’s like U-571 by way of The Manchurian Candidate.

Setting: Cold War
Plot: Political Thriller
Tone: Drama