F9: The Fast Saga - 2/5

This movie is a tired retread of worn-out over-the-top melodrama. The action scenes are mindless fun, but the story is sub-par, even compared to other entries in the series. Surprisingly, driving a car to space is not the most unrealistic thing that happens in this movie, and the script goes out of its way to justify the logistics of it to the audience. What was more distracting to the story was the comic relief character’s meta commentary through-line about how none of the main characters in this franchise ever seem to get seriously injured.

Closest comparison: It’s the Fast and the Furious where they drive a car to space.

Setting: Action
Plot: Action
Tone: Action

Fate of the Furious - 3/5

This movie revels in its status as a dumb action flick, and doesn’t disappoint in delivering fun, vehicle-based, over-the-top action. And when it does deliver even moderate emotional payoff it hits much harder because it’s unexpected.

Closest comparison: It’s the next ratchet up in The Fast And The Furious series.

Setting: Super Hero
Plot: Espionage
Tone: Action

Fast 5 - 3/5

This movie is in some ways more of the same from this franchise, but ramped up to the next level. It has a bigger heist, more questionable physics, and a bigger guy (Dwayne Johnson) chasing the protagonists. The emphasis on family and low-level street crime has been mostly done away with in favor of high-tech missions and international stakes.

Closest comparison: It’s like Mission: impossible 3 by way of The Rundown.

Setting: Espionage Action
Plot: Espionage Action
Tone: Espionage Action

Fast & Furious (2009) - 3/5

This fourth entry in the Fast and the Furious saga seems like one of the weakest links at first blush, but there’s more to it than that. The story structure is some of the best in the series, unfolding the narrative with solid plot points and earned reveals. However, this is also the first movie of the bunch to start getting crazy with the over-the-top stunts and Mission: Impossible-level tech. It maintains the fun and flaws of the rest of the series, so fans will already know what to expect and everyone else won’t have gotten this far.

Closest comparison: It’s like the plot of The Third Man by way of Vanishing Point (1971).

Setting: Suave Crime
Plot: Undercover Detective
Tone: Action Thriller

Bloodshot (2020) - 3/5

This is a solid action movie with a more intelligent premise than it at first appears to have. It has a few really great, showy action scenes, a few decent action scenes, and one CGI-heavy action scene that’s not done as well as it probably should have been. Even though the plot takes several deviations from the average action film, it’s ultimately a one-and-done spring crowd-pleaser, and it lives or dies on the audience’s affinity for Vin Diesel.

Closest comparison: It’s like Memento by way of The Last Witch Hunter (2015).

Setting: Near Future Sci-Fi
Plot: Revenge Action
Tone: Spectacle Action

The Fast and The Furious (2001) - 3/5

This is one of those movies that is made for its cool factor, prioritizing fun over narrative and all those petty concerns about the morality of grand theft. A lot of this movie revolves around buying into the central relationships, but the movie does a good job of making everything seem cool and larger than life so that the audience is just along for the ride. The surrogate family drama is couched in all of the gratuitous shots of cars and girls you would expect, landing on a time-tested foundation of style over substance.

Closest comparison: It’s like Point Break (1991), but with cars.

Setting: Underground Crime
Plot: Crime Drama
Tone: Action

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 - 3/5

First off, the good: lots of beautiful visuals and some great character moments with tertiary characters. The opening sequence is fantastic, and if the whole movie was like that it might have been a 5. Unfortunately, most of the humor in the film is mean-spirited, which for me is intolerable. And for a movie that is relying largely on the humor it's just painful.