Stephen Graham

Snatch (2000) - 5/5

This movie is crass, dark, crime comedy that is a glorious thing to behold. The script is tightly woven, interconnecting the plot lines with comedic aplomb. Everyone is chewing the scenery at the same time, rising to a hilarious crescendo, each beat right on cue. It’s the quintessential cockney crime comedy, and even after twenty years it hasn’t lost its bite.

Content warning: female nudity, language

Closest comparison: It has the narrative complexity of Crash (2004) crossed with the criminal underground of Shopping (1994).

Setting: Crime
Plot: Thriller
Tone: Dark Screwball Comedy

Venom: Let There Be Carnage - 2/5

This movie is similar to its predecessor, but with a darker, true crime vibe. Half of the runtime is dedicated to tracking down a serial killer’s past, which will be more engaging for some audience members than others. The fight scenes are fine in theory but are destroyed by shaky cam, which is especially bad given that it’s basically all CGI. But the movie really goes off the rails in the final battle, where the plot comes together just to fall apart.

Closest comparison: It’s like Venom (2018) with a dash of Se7en.

Setting: Super Hero
Plot: Super hero
Tone: True Crime

The Irishman (Netflix, 2019) - 2/5

This is a three and a half hour long film that any competent director could have made in one third the time without leaving anything out. It is painfully slow and insistently pointless, and the plot reads like a first draft run-on sentence, though the acting is fine, with Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci doing pretty well, but still just looking like the weathered statues of gangsters standing out in the rain, which does nothing for the story or the dryness with which it is told, where the editing could have been very helpful but instead actively inhibits the storytelling, and the extensive use of excellent CGI to de-age the main cast 20-30 years makes them look like they’re in their late 60’s playing characters in their 30’s, and the editing isn’t bad enough to be funny but isn’t good enough to be poor, although Scorsese has an eye for framing and set design that makes the images pop the scenes are ultimately still a very poor level of cinematography because of the still camera and boring staging, and in a movie about gangsters there’s no reason to have over three hours of the run time dedicated to meaningless interpersonal politics that don’t really go anywhere and never amount to anything more than ‘this guy doesn’t like that guy for no good reason’, but doesn’t even have the decency to end once the plot has been resolved but drones on and on and on and on until finally.

Closest comparison: It’s like a less interesting Casino (1995) with the pacing of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Setting: Political Drama
Plot: Gangster
Tone: Drama Epic