Arnold Schwarzenegger

Iron Mask (2019) - 2/5

This movie is bafflingly well-produced for its low-tier plot, effects, and acting. It somehow alternates between over- and under-acting, with effects and sets that feel like Big Trouble In Little China. The costuming and style is great, but it can’t save this movie’s campiness.

Closest comparison: It’s like Jupiter Ascending by way of The Great Wall.

Setting: Fantasy
Plot: Revolution
Tone: Adventure

The Running Man (1987) - 3/5

This movie is a solid entry in the pantheon of ‘80s Schwarzenegger action movies, complete with mostly passable acting, workable plot, and fun action. It combines Orwell and Huxley into the familiar Hunger Games dystopia, but 25 years earlier. It neither promises nor delivers any surprises, but instead provides an enjoyable, if disposable, stock action flick.

Closest comparison: It’s like Total Recall by way of The Hunger Games.

Setting: Sci-fi Adventure
Plot: Action Adventure
Tone: ‘80s Action

Terminator: Dark Fate - 3/5

There’s good news and bad news. The good news is this is the third best Terminator film to date. The bad news is it’s still pretty disposable. The action setpieces are big and iconic, the new terminator is well-conceived, and the returning combination of Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger is worth the price of admission alone. On the flipside, the acting is pretty bad in a few key places, the CGI is sometimes cringe-level rubbery, and the actions scenes each have several moments of dark lighting shaky cam that make them very hard to read. James Cameron’s presence is palpable, but it would have been a much better film if he’d directed it. If you’re a fan of the series this movie is a must-see, but beyond that it’s a pretty stock action flick.

Closest comparison: The Terminator franchise goes the route of The Fast and The Furious.

Setting: Sci-fi Action
Plot: Protect-the-girl Action
Tone: Sci-fi Action