This movie has nothing to offer except a few neat visuals. Unfortunately, even those are surrounded by an unwatchable mess of bland characters, dumb dialogue, and plot contrivances. So much of this movie does not follow from the premises, making it hard to follow why people are doing what they’re doing and how they think that might work out in their favor, other than that the plot demands it. And it’s a shame because the character design on Javier Bardem’s Captain Salazar is some of the best in the series. Unfortunately his character becomes muddled and confused as the story progresses, as do all the characters, resulting in a clear cash grab from Disney. Even the jokes don’t land. There’s nothing redeemable about this dud of a movie.