The King's Man (2021) - 1/5

This movie has some gorgeous visuals and solid fight choreography, but the message is so aggressively detestable and pushed so continually that it makes the entire film vomit-inducingly unwatchable. It goes on and on about how terrible it is to lay down one’s life for family, friends, and country, making a big deal about how foolish and counterproductive everyone in the military is. The movie seems to think it’s terribly clever for making every capable, forthright character a woman and every man a sniveling, useless imbecile (except for the one black man of course). It’s so far up it’s own ass it could swallow itself twice, and seems completely unaware of its internal circular logic.

Closest comparison: It’s like Downton Abbey by way of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, with a bit of 1917 thrown in.

Setting: Adventure
Plot: Espionage
Tone: Action Comedy

Godzilla: King of the Monsters - 3/5

The monster visuals are gorgeous, and that’s certainly where they put their money. Unfortunately, the plot is very dumb and overly complicated, to the point that we don’t get to see monster stuff until about 50 minutes into the movie. The upshot is that the parts with humans fall back into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category, so if you like imitating Mystery Science Theater 3000 you’ll have something to do while you wait for the monster fights to start. Once the fighting starts it’s exciting and very entertaining, well worth the price of the ticket on its own, though it seems overly focused on giving the audience good PC desktop wallpapers.

Closest comparison: It’s better than Godzilla (2014), but not as good as Kong: Skull Island.

Setting: Kaiju Monster
Plot: Adventure
Tone: Action/Drama